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This is a post about questions. No answers. It’s me wondering out loud (not really out loud but on the computer) about why things are a certain way. Should they be this way? What should our focus be as parents? Why should it be an issue for others that my daughter has short hair?

She wanted her hair short.

About a year and a half ago, my daughter, Maizy, who was ten at the time, decided she wanted her hair short.  I’m not entirely sure what inspired the change, but she was pretty into the show Once Upon a Time.  The main character on that show is named Mary Margaret, played by Ginnifer Goodwin and has a VERY cute pixie cut.  I’m not sure if that was the reason or if it was the fact that she had recently started on the swim team and having short hair would be much more convenient; with both the swim cap and the newly forming habit of showering every day after practice.

So, normally I would bring her to my salon but she was super anxious to get it done so we went to a salon a friend recommended and luckily someone was available.  I don’t think I had truly thought about her cutting her hair off until I actually saw the hair on the floor.  It was pretty shocking!  SO MUCH HAIR!

When it was done, it looked terrific!  Best part?  She loved it!  We had taken a before picture (of course) and when we walked outside the salon and took the after picture, she looked very happy.  You could see that she felt very pretty and completely satisfied with the outcome.

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Here’s the part with the questions.

The issue.

She was teased- a lot. And, we know kids get most, if not all of these judgmental ideas and stereotypes from their parents. People made assumptions about her- a ten year old girl- simply because she liked her hair short. When you hear it like that it seems pretty silly, doesn’t it?

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My husbands take on things.

He couldn’t care in the least if her hair was long or short.  He has never been the guy that is hung up on long hair.  I’ve never really understood the fascination/ desire/ weird fantasy that women must have long hair.  I’ve loved my husband through weight gain, weight loss, hair loss, totally shaved head, beard, goatee, and cheeks as smooth as a baby’s butt.  None of these outside changes made me love him any more or less.  I’m pretty sure, after almost 24 years he feels the same way about me. So, why is hair length such a big deal to some men?

What did women think?

A few months later, I went to my hairdresser for my appointment. I told her about Maizy and showed her the haircut. She said, “I would never have cut her hair like that.” I guess she was also on the -short hair isn’t feminine- team. So, it’s not just some men that feel that way but women, too?

Some women that I meet compliment her short hair. I couldn’t tell you how many say they’d do it if they “were more brave.” Why do we feel so attached to something like hair?

The other day I got the best comment from a mom in our swim carpool about my daughter. She said she’s witty and cool and unique and she ended it with “and she’s not apologetic about it.”  She is who she is. She’s proud and confident. Isn’t that what we should be striving for as parents?

So, now what?

My daughter has kept her hair short for about a year and a half now. She still loves it! It fits her personality. She looks a little different from all the long haired girls and I’m okay with that. Maizy IS different! She is unique and funny and witty and smart and hardworking and beautiful! She worked hard to earn her black belt.  Five days a week she goes to swim practice and gives it her all.  She’s more thoughtful that any 11 year old should be.  And, she’s a straight A student.  Maizy is unique!  All girls are unique!  Let’s celebrate that! As for Maizy, I don’t think she could have asked for a hairstyle that fit her cool personality and active lifestyle better than the short hairstyle she has now.


So, here are my last few questions. Isn’t that what we should be striving to teach our children? Isn’t it more important that our children are true to themselves and their desires rather than fitting into someone else’s mold of what they “should” look like? Don’t we owe it to them?


I recently bleached my son’s hair!  After Maizy saw his hair and realized it looked pretty darn good, she had me bleach hers!  Read about it and see the before and after shots here.

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