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What do skinny jeans, tan lines and an old mom have in common? Keep reading and find out how these three things came together to start a revolution. Not really a revolution but a possible change of heart…and change of diet.
In case you didn’t know, skinny jeans are officially out of style. How do I know? Because I just bought a pair! This was actually a few months ago but I bring it up because I think it’s relevant to the topic of the day. Which is, it stinks to be overweight!!
Back to the skinny jeans. I had gone to the REAL shoe store in search of a cute pair of flats. If you know me at all, you know I am super cheap and tend to get a majority of my shoes at Target, usually on sale. I remember back to the old days of shopping at the mall, maybe Nine West. Getting a pair of strappy leather heels that I ‘d probably only wear a handful of times for the bargain price of $75.00. Loooooong gone are those days.
I think priorities change and in my case (and maybe yours) you’re left with clearance shoes from Target. Not even the 30% clearance but at least 50%. But, I digress. So, I’m at the shoe store and I find a super cute pair of black booties. Not what I was there for but SO cute. Kind of simple, suede, little heel, zip up the back. Black, of course. So, I uncharacteristically shell out the 50 dollars and buy them. But, as I leave the store I realize I have nothing to wear with them! Of course! So, to my good old standby I go.
Hello Target! I find some skinny jeans. Can I pull it off? I’m not 100% sure, but I have to wear something with the booties. Have you tried skinny jeans? If you are a fairly (mostly) out of shape 40 something with three kids under your belt, let me save you the trouble. You probably shouldn’t. I spend more of my time yanking them up because they DON’T STAY UP!
I asked one of my friends if this is a skinny jean thing or if this is an overweight person wearing skinny jeans thing. Actually, I don’t remember the answer. I think my question was met with laughter. But, I’m pretty sure it is like the question, “How much is it?” If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. I’m pretty sure if you have to ask the question about the skinny jeans, you probably don’t really need the answer. You probably already know the answer!
An Old Mom
This leads me to my second point. The other day, I had taken the kids to the park. I had intended to walk, get a little exercise but ended up playing baseball with Weston and Madeline. (Maizy was still in California.) We played baseball for about twenty minutes and then Wes made some friends who invited him to play basketball. Madeline and I spent about fifteen minutes walking around the park and having some good, quality mom-13 year old conversation. Priceless and a rarity, for sure in these busy times.
When we decided to leave, I realized I had set the keys to the car down next to the baseball stuff by the court where Weston was playing basketball. I proceeded to ask one of the kids to “pick the keys up for your old mom.” What? Who said that? Who is this old mom person? My brain started to work….
I went to the pool last week with the kids. Tons of sunscreen, big hat, trying to find any miniscule amount of shade that was available. A far cry from the days of using baby oil with iodine as suntan lotion and Sun-In or lemon juice spritzed on your hair. Laying out in the back yard with Def Leopard blaring on the boom box. Or maybe some cool alternative band that had you convinced you were deeper than 90% of the people in your town. Oh, the good old days!
I’m a bit of a germa-phobe, but I had to get in the pool today because I was as hot as… well, as hot as an overweight mom in the heart of summer in Oklahoma. (Public pools-Pretty gross, right? Have I mentioned I’m a germa-phobe??) So, we get home and as I’m getting in the shower I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Never mind the shape I saw staring back at me, I’ve sadly gotten used to that. What surprised me is how I used to be tan all the way up to my bikini line. When did I become the person that was super pale from mid thigh up? When did I get to the point that the mom skirt was just the standard?
I’m not saying it’s not okay to wear the mom suit. I love, love, love my mom suit. Such ridiculous freedom in those 3 inches of skirted fabric. But, I guess all of these things I was noticing about myself were piling up into one big pit of “I’m 43 years old and if I don’t do something to start being a fit, healthier person I will probably have go to the hospital in the near future with a weight related illness/ emergency.” Ladies and gentleman, I believe I just hit rock bottom. Cue the sad music and find the crying emoji!
What To Do?
Kevin and I discussed it and decided that something must be done. Somehow we had slipped down this very slippery slope that you frequently find in adulthood where your kid’s lives and activities become your priority. You’re happy enough in your marriage that you don’t reeeeeally care about the extra weight. And, you just give in to the urge you’ve always had (but fought tooth and nail) to just eat what you want, sleep in on the weekends and forego the gym.
In conclusion, we’ve started back eating well. It’s only been four days but I already feel better. I will proudly and also ashamedly say that I have eaten more fruits and vegetables in the last four days than I had in the last month. I have hope that this will take and I’ll get back to my old self. Marathon runner? Probably not. Bikini body? Actually, probably never, ever had that. Healthy mom that will pick up her own keys and can wear skinny jeans with booties without having to wrench them up every five minutes so my butt’s not out? I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
Disclaimer- I do have two cute pairs of Ugg boots that I love and many other cool pairs of shoes from my pre-kid, less cheap days. I’m not mistreated. No one makes me buy clearance shoes at Target. Also, like I said above, mom suits are cool. If you love your mom suit, wear it with pride! No judgement here! -Jill